The Great Minnesota Get-Together

I’m missing the get-together. The Minnesota State Fair is known for being the “Great Minnesota Get-Together”. I can’t really afford a visit this year, so I have spent considerable time thinking about past outings to this event over many years.

I first remember going to the Fair in high school. I may have gone when I was younger and just don’t remember. I went with some potential boyfriend and a group as a teen, I can’t see allowing a teen to go on her own now that I’m an adult, but my parents had raised a few kids by the time I got to be a teenager. My mom went to the fair with her girlfriends when I was in high school and I couldn’t really figure out what the draw was for her. We spent our time on rides. But I do remember her being disappointed in seeing what her favorite (WCCO) radio voice looked like in real life. Not exactly what she imagined from that handsome voice.

As a young adult I was at the Fair several years running. I worked in the International Bazaar in the KENYA KENYA booth for a few years selling my favorite handicrafts from East Africa. It was fun to have the access and see the throngs stroll by. I worked with a Muslim Kikuyu gal who wanted to go out for a beer after we got off for the day. I told her I don’t drink and thought it strange that she did. But then it slipped my mind and I brought her a ham sandwich for lunch. Oops. We both got over it.

I lived in a Christian community for a while and one of the guys there was enthralled with the ‘freak’ or side shows in the midway. He came home from seeing the ape women “Zambora” calling me Jambora. It wasn’t really endearing, but we were kids, so to speak. That experience made me aware of part of the Fair I hadn’t considered until then, and honestly I haven’t thought of much since either.

One year I lived a few blocks from the main gates. Oh, the traffic! Some boy I knew at the time took me flying over the Fair at night. I toted my camera with the macro lens and got some awesome shots of the midway lit up at night. I’m sure if I dug through my photo boxes I would find those.

At the end of one of the years I worked there I bought at hammock chair from the booth across from us. I couldn’t help myself, their spiel was so convincing. I got a deal on one that had been up the whole 10 days. That hammock chair hangs on my front porch today and is still one of the most relaxing chairs to sit in after a busy day.

I’m not one of those people that LOVES the Fair and can’t miss it! But I do like to go for a number of reasons. I remember one year going with a father and two sons to see Kirby Puckett and get an autograph. Going with different people allows you to see things at the Fair you may have missed. I like the art displays and seeing what the Grad Stand Hawkers are selling. When I was into swing dancing I went to see the competition of friends.

Nothing tops seeing through the eyes of internationals that have never before experienced such a thing. Last year I took the AFRIZO! Team to the Fair. They had their first public performance at the new Crossroads Chapel. But seeing them enjoy turkey legs and rides was much more fun! Also just experiencing the wide range of folks who attend the Fair is interesting. There is no better people watching then there.

My trip down memory lane makes up for not going this year. I wonder if I’ll ever need to go again if I can just think about the past trips.

Points North

Today Alice and I head up to Duluth and join Lorraine for the evening. Tomorrow we continue up the coast of Lake Superior to Grand Marais, returning to Duluth for a some more fun on Monday and Tuesday. I love the North Shore. I used to make it a regular practice to get up there often – but the last few years have been challenging. (Never mind I've been living out of the country some of that time.)

Needless to say, I'm looking very forward to this road trip. (I haven't been able to say that too quickly after 2.5 months on the road last fall.) Even though I hadn't initially thought of it when planning, I think this will be a great bonding time for 3 new friends. Now, off to hunt for my camera. Hopefully photos will follow the weekend.

Three's Company

That old show conjures up memories of being young and having fun. I don't remembering it being a particularly edifying story and I am no longer young – but I hope this next season on life will be a little light-hearted on the home front. (That is not to say I haven't enjoyed the dear friends I have stayed with over the last year. But it is to say that I am glad to be in my place and settled. See previous post.)

About a month ago I was joined in my house by a new friend, Alice. How I found her was unlikely and farfetched. However, once we met we discovered that we had one set of close(ish) friends in common. I guess that made the agreement to live together a bit easier than total strangers. Turns out Alice is almost exactly 5 years younger than me, an age I consider to be in my range. AND she is also going back to school so she can pursue a new career path. She returned from 'the field' after 18 years of service just two years ago. She has some very different interests from me, but so far it's been a very good combo.

Tomorrow Lorraine is starting to move in. I met her almost the same way, just as unlikely. She is starting her second year of furlough from 'the field' in the hopes of recruiting new teammates for her area during this year. She's put in something like 32 years on the field. So she's a little older than me.

All three of us were working with people from the same continent, but those two speak French. (Is it too late to learn?) I really feel like God came through for me here in the housemate area. I was dreading renting to young people again because some of my past experiences were challenging. One good thing is that I'm a different person! But there is a camaraderie with like-minded, over 40-year-olds. I am hopeful this will be a good combination for the three of us. We'll see what happens.

Moving and Settling

I have moved a lot of times in my life. I have lived in several places in the past year, including a 12 passenger van! Now I'm back in my house, my own home. I love having a home and making it mine. In fact, I am feeling close to settled for the first time since May of last year. But I'm not completely settled. I did hang up some art today, a few of my mom's paintings and some other décor, but I didn't quite get it all up. In fact, I feel like I'm missing a few things. Things I may have stashed away and still haven't uncovered.

On top of feeling like I'm not finding all I thought I had stored, I have a nagging feeling that I shouldn't enjoy all these things. I should be content to live in a fox hole, or something simple anyway, but I'm not. I feel somehow guilty about my life back here in the US. To some it may sound silly, but that's how I feel. I haven't lost my love for Africans but I like making a home nice. It's important to me. I do that overseas too, but without my resident's status there, feeling settled alluded me. It seems to me that I am hardwired to want to feel settled.

I'm done moving around for a while, but I'm not totally settled. I may never feel settled. I was asked the other day if I miss Kenya with a deep longing to go back. I replied that both places are home to me. So maybe in a sense I'm never fully at home anywhere.

That is the point. We aren't at home anywhere here on this planet, our home is elsewhere.

Seven Years

Today I had enough time and presence of mind to look at the calendar and realize that it is just two short days until the anniversary of my Mom's death. Hard to believe it was 7 years ago. My wise older brother commented how it feels like it is so far in the past and yet just happened all at the same time. I agree. Still, being in transition after a whole year back in the US makes it even harder to be without Mom. I miss her most when I am in transition.

Just this morning I was thinking again how I wish I could talk to her about what is rolling around in my head these days. It's just the kind of processing of thoughts that you don't blurt out to casual friends. And sometimes your close girlfriends don't have time for these conversations. Mom would always have time to help me think through things without trying to solve it all for me. I have probably said this a hundred times here, but my mom was not your typical controlling or even overly doting mom. She was laid back, easygoing and never fussed by the things that jar life. She took it all in stride as if it were no bid deal. But she did make a big deal about congratulating accomplishments or loving on you for who you are.

And she had a special gift for seeing you as you really are, so it made the loving-you part all the better. I wish it were easier to be without her but it's not.

Mom and Dad in 1992

I'm back in my house!

It's the middle of June already!

I have been enjoying my home so much! But I sometimes feel bad for liking 'stuff'. I unpacked most of my household items and realized I have a lot of kitchen and entertaining items, a ton! But I like them. I like what they represent and I like using them. I love having people over. But I still wish my life was simpler. I wish I didn't like it all so much!

But this is who God made me to be so it's hard to say that it's not what I should enjoy. Needless to say, I'm a little conflicted within myself these days.

Plus I can hardly believe how busy everything about school and unpacking makes me. Give me just 4 more weeks and I will be hopefully much more verbal here in the blogosphere.

Thanks for tuning in.

More Transition & the Emotional Roller Coaster it Brings

Ever have those moments when you are feeling so low, and while you keep telling yourself to just snap out of it, you can't? That was yesterday afternoon. I had a conversation with someone that was strained and even though the conversation ended cordially, I felt completely misunderstood and misrepresented.

That's the way I arrived at church last night. I wanted to just forget about the conversation and sing. But everything in the songs just made me realize how hurt I was and how there was no way to fix it myself. In every song I literally cried out to God to fix it, but I couldn't see how he would be able to do it. Even though I couldn't repair the situation and I couldn't see a good outcome eventually I stopped crying and pulled myself together to listen to the sermon. But I wasn't feeling like anything was resolved.

The preaching pastor for this weekend was the missions pastor at Bethlehem until a few months ago. He and the international student class are about to start a church plant. Although I usually enjoy his preaching, I didn't expect to hear anything relevant to my situation. But in his preaching about the church being multi-ethnic he talked about how we are the family of God to one another. And in a sense, though he didn't say this, these internationals sort of need each other because they are away from other family. He did say that we are all in the family of God.

I realized in that moment that part of the effect of that earlier disconcerting conversation was that I felt so alone in the process; no one to turn to that understands my side and would defend me. And somehow being single makes you less credible, or so it seems. Just hearing and remembering that we are the family of God helped me to feel less alone.

And then after the service, I was able to connect with someone who is able to help me sort out the misunderstanding. Thank you, Lord. It really is totally His work to bring me from the despair I felt so acutely at 5 PM to the joy and lightness I felt at 7 PM. He truly is a good God!