Today I had enough time and presence of mind to look at the calendar and realize that it is just two short days until the anniversary of my Mom's death. Hard to believe it was 7 years ago. My wise older brother commented how it feels like it is so far in the past and yet just happened all at the same time. I agree. Still, being in transition after a whole year back in the US makes it even harder to be without Mom. I miss her most when I am in transition.
Just this morning I was thinking again how I wish I could talk to her about what is rolling around in my head these days. It's just the kind of processing of thoughts that you don't blurt out to casual friends. And sometimes your close girlfriends don't have time for these conversations. Mom would always have time to help me think through things without trying to solve it all for me. I have probably said this a hundred times here, but my mom was not your typical controlling or even overly doting mom. She was laid back, easygoing and never fussed by the things that jar life. She took it all in stride as if it were no bid deal. But she did make a big deal about congratulating accomplishments or loving on you for who you are.
And she had a special gift for seeing you as you really are, so it made the loving-you part all the better. I wish it were easier to be without her but it's not.
Mom and Dad in 1992