The dumbest things make me cry

I miss my mom

I was just reading through some recipes trying to choose what to make for a New Year’s brunch. I came across a recipe in my mom’s handwriting and just after the fond recognition of it being hers I burst into tears. This happened to me a couple of weeks ago too. I was sorting through the many donated children’s books given to the missionary apartment. I came across one about this mother who had a little boy that she would rock and recite a little poem to about how this would always be her little boy, no matter how big he got and she would always love him. As the book progresses, the boy gets older but the mom still takes that big boy or even man in her arms and rocks with to this verse. By the end of the book the son rocks his aging mother. The whole scene sent to down the memory lane of missing my own mom so dearly. I can hardly type this without it all coming back again so vividly and fighting off the tears again.

This was my third Christmas without her.

Remedy for Numbness

I haven’t been blogging much. I am trying to figure out why. I have time to read blogs. You might offer that it’s a busy season. It’s understandable that I haven’t been writing much. But I don’t buy that excuse. I think I might be just a bit numb. I set my expectations low for Christmas this year (for the most part). I had a nice dinner with my older brother and sister-in-law a few days before Christmas.

I spent Christmas eve with the Maves Family. It was nice to see the girls opening gifts and all excited. I managed to get to church twice that day.

I remembered again why I love the 10:45 pm service at Bethlehem. It’s the right time in all the hoopla to slow down and focus. I always love the music that is chosen. The lessons that are read are so clear for helping me focus. The message Pastor John gives isn’t holiday fluff, it’s straight to the point of Christmas. Some of the numbness melts away and I remember why there is so much hoopla this season.

Jesus came. He came to be with us. – Emanuel –

He came to die. But for his death to accomplish what it set out to do, namely pay the price for our sin, Jesus had to come as one of us. He had to be born a little vulnerable baby, grow into a man and experience life the same way we do in order for him to be what we needed to atone for our sin. Pastor John puts it so much better. Here’s his sermon from this past weekend. It’s worth listening to.

I spend Christmas day with the Jones family. Zach and Andrea live there too and we had a very nice Christmas breakfast. Eventually more friends arrived and then somewhere along the day I lost focus again. Two more large meals, lots of Christmas cookies, kids playing or fusing due to lack of sleep and abundance of sugar, squeeze in a movie and no wonder I’m numb. I finally get to the 26th and I have what I call a “Christmas hangover”. I haven’t had a drop of alcohol, it’s all the overdoing it; I’ve had too much food and not enough sleep. But more than that I haven’t remembered, let alone dwelt on what Jesus has so incredibly done for me.

It’s fun to spend the holidays with friends. It’s natural to miss my mom and wish she were still here. But clichéd or not, Jesus really is the one thing that I should be focusing on. Not because Jesus is a “should” but because he’s the part of Christmas that doesn’t disappoint. When I have come down from the sugar high and slept off the days of short nights I have one thing alone to look forward to: Jesus.

Hopefully, my focus will generate thoughtfulness here on the blog, too. I am so grateful for Jesus what came to die for me and grateful I am still able to remember, focus on Him.

News in Madison, Wisconsin

Ed Brown is the guy that Craig and Tracy Sorley asked to set up the US office of Care of Creation after they had started their work in Kenya under the Southern Baptists. This morning Ed sent us a link from a Madison newspaper that did an article on him. If you would like to read it here is the link.

lola bea

This is a little person I have known since her birth. In a couple of months she'll be three. I see her at least weekly and many weeks I see her two or three times.

Yesterday I arrived at her house and she said to me, "Who are you?" This is Lola Bea's advanced sense of humor. I replied, "You know who I am!" in a sing-songy manner as to communicate I was getting her joke.

Then she asked in her same inquisitive manner, "Are you the other Auntie Jan?" I could no longer keep a straight face. Others in the room starting laughing too.

I'm left to wonder, how do little people get so funny?

caught off-guard

Today I was working on letters to ask for support from some churches. I was searching for a Bible verse to add to the letter that talks about glorifying God. I ran across Isaiah 61:1-3. I have read these verses before, even recently but today I started to tear up as soon as I read the passage.

The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor;

he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn;

to grant to those who mourn in Zion-- to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;

that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified.

The emotions that welled up inside of me were first for wanting so desperately to be in Kenya bringing good news to the poor. I want them to have gladness instead of mourning. I want them to be solid oaks of righteousness, not dried up sticks and twigs instead a growing, alive people. But most of all I want to enable those in East Africa to glorify the Lord!

If you are inclined to pray please ask the Father on my behalf for the remaining support to come in, that I may go and plant in people that they may glorify Him.

Grateful beyond the tangible

Before I went to bed last night I made myself a list for getting going on my day today. If I make a list before bed when I am thinking of all the things I didn’t get to in that day I am likely to have a more successful following day. I seem to be unable to think up those things in the morning.

At the top of my list was a ‘list gratitudes to God’. I had decided that would be a good way to wake up this morning; think through what I am grateful for. So when my alarm when off I laid there thinking of things I am grateful for.

Among my list were things like: having a nice family to stay with, my own room here. I’m grateful that my support is going up and it’s snowing outside; it’s so pretty. I thought about the book I’m reading about the life of a Somali lady. She had a very rough upbringing. That made me thankful for my upbringing in a fairly mild (compared to the rest of the world) middle class home.

After getting up and working through some of my other tasks for the day I bundled up and headed to the “Good Neighbor Fellowship of Churches” Thanksgiving service. This is a holiday we share with about four other churches within three blocks of our church. Each of the churches contributes in some way. I can add this service to my list of things I’m thankful for.

This service reminded me in so many ways the one thing I am most thankful for. And it was said in many ways:
· God saved me from his wrath through Jesus Christ
· My sins were paid for by Jesus’ atoning blood
· I have new life in Christ
· God has been more than faithful to me in everyway

I am so thankful that I know Christ and he knows me, that he adopted me as his own. It’s my goal to focus on that today and everyday. May God help me to remember what I am most thankful for as I give thanks.

Auntie Again

Finally got some some photos of little Andreas Emmanuel Adamsson. This was taken the day he came home from the hospital. He looks different than big brother, August looked as a newborn, with dark hair and a bruiser kind of nose. (Didn't see the big boys at birth.) Definitely a keeper! Now he's two weeks old and starting, just starting to fill out. I visited Andre and his family yesterday. He's so tiny and so sweet.

Here's the whole family.