There is an odd place you get to when in an international transition. I describe it as a floating feeling. Maybe it only happens to the sentimental types, or maybe it’s just me. I know it has happened in past transitions. I love being a part of community. I function best with some semblance of routine. But here I am floating. I have a job for only a short time more. I am mostly out of my house and another family lives there. I have no real responsibility to anyone. Sure I make it church and small group, but I am not grounded to anything or anyone right now and it’s an uncomfortable feeling of disconnection with everything that matters. To add to the odd feelings there are some folks that start to check out early. Interactions get a little cool. I work extra hard not to take that personally. Maybe I should be taking it personally. Then there is the emptiness of having no parents. They seem to be the ones who track with you on things, when they are not around there seems to be no one really tracking. Of course that isn’t exactly true. I do have community. And there are interested folks at work and church. Maybe it’s just a different kind of tracking.
Anyway I’m floating. I’m somewhere between here and there. I’d rather be grounded in one place than floating between them. But for now I’m floating.