Sunday, April 3, 2011

Transition is Hard

Transition is probably challenging for most people because it’s the rare person who really embraces change. Normally I’m a gal who knows her mind and I like my lifestyle and the freedoms it affords me. But throw some change my way, some big change and I’m not myself suddenly. Small decisions become mountains to navigate with no clear path. I hate being alone in the process and wish I knew the future.

While there are things that drive me crazy about this place, there are so many things I absolutely love about Kenya. Now I think of the smallest random action, like the silly smile of the gate guard and I’m nearly reduced to tears of sentimentality.

Honestly though, we never know the future, we only think we do, because of our own plans. And we have no guarantees in this life, no control over what happens to us. I think of the passage in James 4:13-14 –

"Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit'-- yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes."

Deep down, I’m not really worried about what I will do in the future. There will be something God has for me and eventually I will know what it is. It’s just the in between part that is such a challenge, so lonely.

I’m working at embracing change and walking through this season of transition while enjoying every minute left here.

1 comment:

thatsnotfunnymisskatie said...

I hear ya, Jan. Praying for you. And you know you're not really alone. His name is Jehovah Shammah. Can't wait to have coffee with you, Jan!